Bobcats Look To Ride Twilight Vampire Craze


Bobcats Looking To Sign Another Forward

The Charlotte Bobcats continue their efforts to build depth and find quality role players this summer. The Arizona Republic and The Charlotte Observer have reported that the team has been in contact with Phoenix Suns free agent Louis Amundson. If the team were successful in signing Amundson, this could signal further shifts to the Bobcats roster.

Who Is Louis Amundson?

Okay, so you look at Louis Amundson and the first thing that comes to mind is “Vampire”, right? I expected to run a Google search and find a heartwarming, local newspaper article about how he’s worked hard to overcome the bias and adversity of adjusting to the US since his arrival from Transylvania. Over the past two seasons he’s been praised for his hard work on the court with the Phoenix Suns, but his extensive efforts to wear that mouthpiece and pretend to be a normal human are never recognized.

It appears that the Bobcats may be in line to capitalize on circumstances that will follow Amundson throughout his NBA “life.” The 6’9″ forward/vampire is destined to spend his entire career on the move, hoping no one will notice that he never ages. After breaking into the NBA from the D-League, he played just one game for Utah before heading East to avoid the suspicious eye of Jazz coach Jerry Sloan (estimated to be 95 yrs old).  Amundson  spent the following two NBA seasons working to learn the intricacies of modern human life and the dynamics of a team locker room with the Philadelphia 76ers. This experience prepared him for a more productive role with the Phoenix Suns.


After the November 2008 release of the highly anticipated first Twilight film, Amundson realized that America embraced and celebrated his kind. His new sense of comfort began to show immediately. Over the next few months, he thrived in a more vampire-appropriate pace of offense with Phoenix. It could be argued that as he got more minutes on the court, his teammates actually began to run faster on the break just to get distance from him. It’s been speculated that after his first season, the Suns were forced to trade away Shaq after coach Alvin Gentry reviewed hours of game footage and noticed the way Amundson would watch O’Neal as slow and easy prey.

Now that Louis Amundson is once again looking to relocate and avoid suspicion, Charlotte hopes that he can invigorate their front line or at least give Larry Brown the gift of immortality. In order to compete with the other teams courting Louis Amundson, the Cats could offer him on an incentive-based contract to keep the base salary numbers low, as well as encourage Amundson to avoid biting season ticket holders or Rufus, the team mascot.

Notes : Louis Amundson may not be an actual vampire. My initial guess had him as a big man from somewhere in Europe. That, too, is probably wrong. It looks like Amundson was born in California, grew up in Colorado, and went to college at UNLV.  He was not an actor in The Lost Boys. Who knew?