Rod Higgins confirmed this morning that the Bobcats have finally agreed to a deal with Emeka Okafor.
Emeka’s base salary is $72 million over the next six years, however, there are incentive clauses included in NBA player contracts that promise more money when certain benchmarks are met. Bobcats Baseline assumes that the following requirements are listed in Emeka’s new deal.
Section 1.c
OKAFOR agrees to SLAM DUNK the ball two (2) times per game over the next 6 years. No more of this “soft dunk” garbage that we saw in the 07-08 season. FURTHERMORE, OKAFOR agrees to “grow a set” and bend the goal downward by putting his full weight on the rim. IN ADDITION, BOBCATS agree to extend the OKAFOR contract by 10 years if OKAFOR shatters the backboard.
Section 5.f
BOBCATS agree to pay OKAFOR $100,000 for each elbow thrown at Carlos Boozer. FURTHERMORE, Each elbow landed will result in a 1% ownership of Bobcats Sports & Entertainment, Inc.
Section 12.q
BOBCATS will compensate OKAFOR with a 1988 Lamborghini Countach 5000 if he fouls-out five (5) games per season over the next two (2) seasons. OKAFOR acknowledges that this is “a power forward’s job” and he needs to “get down on it”, “get physical”, and “bust a move” in the paint.
Section 22.x
In the unfortunate circumstance of injury, OKAFOR agrees to assume the duties of RUFUS LYNX for the remainder of the season.
We are really excited to have ‘Meka as a Bobcat for years to come and look forward to watching him attain these goals.
Okafor = the new Larry Johnson. Let's hope we get at least a year out of him before he throws his back out doing G'mama commercials for the new Reebok Pumps.
i'm so pumped about the 1988 Lamborghini incentive. does the b-class porn star come with it? i love it.
Okafor is cerebral enough to either let the significance of this deal motivate him to All-Star status or create enough neurosis in his mind to paralyze any potential growth. I see him succeeding this year under coach Brown and taking a spot on the East's midseason bench.